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Thursday, 6 November 2014

Where did my baby go?!

I'm one of those parents who takes a gazillion kid photos on my iPhone (aren't we all) and it's so full now that I need to delete old ones every time I want to capture the next too-cute toddler thing he's doing.

Inevitably, I become captivated by those old pictures, those fleeting moments of early motherhood with a squishy newborn in too-big jumpsuits; the first smile; the snuggles in bed with nowhere to be. I look wistfully at his teeny-ness, and feel where I was then; consumed by doing things 'right' while fumbling with my own sense of who I was on -647 hours sleep, like an adrenalin-charged deer in the headlights.

I came up for air at some point in the first year as I realised that to be the connected, conscious parent I wanted to be I'd have to work through some of my own stuff and take care of my own needs too. Fancy that!

This little spiritual teacher of mine is now a walking, talking person with a cheekiness and confidence that is irresistible. Sure, he pushes buttons, but they are MY buttons, not his, which I try to remember when he spits it because his banana is peeled too far down, or won't brush his teeth, or 'interrupts' me when I'm trying to do the dishes.

And so I take a breath and remind myself that just like those old photos show, these moments are fleeting too. I let go of the list, the dishes, and horsey ride around the house. And roar like a dinosaur. And maybe stick some undies on my head for good measure! (I'll do anything for a laugh)

What do you do to get out of your head and connect with your kids?